He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
And then he peed in my hair
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