i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
