Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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