Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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