your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
