i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
