just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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