According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
