why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I said "one day" and that day is not today
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
