if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize