The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
