Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
