Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
