Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
