problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
