There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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