i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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