I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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