If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
