Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You left your phone here
Wait...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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