I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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