then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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