Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And then my night got REAL pukey
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
