and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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