the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
a search helicopter?!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hippo gnu deer
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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