Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
