did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
