You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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