you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
