Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
