I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
