if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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