Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I love you. Go after that dick
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
