just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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