something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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