as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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