My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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