yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize