we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
