Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
