He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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