Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
