So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
