Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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