So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
