This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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