The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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