If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
