That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
