I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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