My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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