It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
