Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
sarcasm needs its own font
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
