i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
