Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
