Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
