brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
there is glitter all over my balls
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
