you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize