He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
