I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
God, you're like boner-b-gone
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
