Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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