see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
