Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
